Leadership

I’m sure there are more than enough articles and books about leadership already. But since life is defined by our experiences, this is my small contribution to that collective library.

“Leadership is both a research area and a practical skill encompassing the ability of an individual or organization to “lead” or guide other individuals, teams, or entire organizations.” - Wikipedia

That definition is accurate, but it feels cold. In practice, leadership is far more visceral. It is not a title you are given; it is a role you assume.

The Authenticity Signal

Leadership cannot be pretended. Humans are social creatures with a highly tuned radar for inauthenticity. You can wear the suit, hold the title, and sit at the head of the table, but if you are acting a part, your team will know.

True leadership is transparent. It shows in the small moments—how you handle a crisis, how you treat the junior engineer, and how you act when no one is watching.

You don’t need permission to lead.

Some of the best leaders I have worked with were never my bosses. They led without organizational power. They led by example, by competence, and by empathy. If you wait for a title to start leading, you will never truly lead.

The Indicators

If you look closely, you can spot a true leader by how they react to the world around them.

1. The Antifragile Ego

Most people instinctively defend themselves against criticism. It is a survival mechanism. Leaders, however, override this instinct. They accept negative feedback not just with grace, but with curiosity. They treat criticism as data, not as an attack. They have the skill to process it on a professional level without letting it crush them on a personal level.

2. Expansive Listening

There is a difference between waiting for your turn to speak and actually listening. Leaders expand on your thoughts. They validate your ideas by asking detailed, probing questions. They don’t try to shrink your idea to fit their worldview; they try to expand their worldview to include your idea.

3. In the Trenches

They focus on team building by being part of the team. They don’t direct from a tower; they get in the mud. When the deadline is looming and the server is down, they are there—not necessarily fixing the code, but removing hurdles, bringing coffee, and sharing the stress.

4. Empowerment over Usage

Bad managers use people to get results. Leaders empower people to achieve results. They know that acknowledgement is the fuel of high performance. They give credit away freely and hoard responsibility when things go wrong.

Recommended Reading

The internet is full of noise, but these pieces have stuck with me:

• Elon Musk on Negative Feedback (YouTube)
• How a Single Conversation with My Boss Changed My View on Delegation and Failure (Medium)
• Engineering Management - Technical Leaders by Algeri Wong
• The most important leadership competencies (HBR)
• The most successful leaders do 15 things every day (Forbes)
• Innovative Leadership (Gates Notes)